An ICF Executive Coach embarks on an Ayahuasca Journey

Greetings, thank you for landing on my blog. I’ll cut straight to the chase.

A quick introduction: My name is Carina, and I am an ICF-Certified Coach in Calgary, Canada. Most of my background has been working with high performance athletes, first responders and military. I also work in the security industry, teaching investigation techniques along with critical thinking. I am a fascinated observer of humans and have extensive training in behavioural analysis and am a certified psychometric provider.

From October — December 2021 I have gone through a complete soul shakeup and spiritual awakening, catalyzed by my first foray into plant medicine. In November I worked with Kambo and Ayahuasca and life hasn’t been the same since.

I started this blog intending to use it to begin to unpack and integrate everything that has transpired (I am lucky to have crystal clear memories of all of my ceremonies and the lessons within them) but I suspect it will grow to a wider exploration of spiritual awakening.

This blog will be a safe space — a container — for plant medicine and ayahuasca integration for those of us who have undergone a spiritual awakening and soul shakeup. The Ayahuasca ceremonies themselves were extremely powerful, but I believe the true (and perhaps harder) work begins when we return home to our lives and begin to assess and adjust misalignments. What I experienced in one night with Ayahuasca is equivalent to a year of intense ontological coaching I would do with my clients. That in itself astounded me.

What is Plant Medicine Integration?

After experiencing Ayahuasca, many of us will never be the same again. We’ve been offered a different perspective on life and lessons have been provided to us at the soul level. In the ceremonial room, we have time to unpack and reintegrate, but then it comes time to return home to our lives, and this is where the real work begins. We find ourselves having to:

1.) Unpack what in the fuck just happened, and find safe people / containers to do so (some integrate best interacting with others, others solo. As an extravert, I’m the former.)

2.) Align ourselves with the truths we saw in ceremony and embark on the soul purpose we have been shown.

3.) Gracefully remove misalignment from our lives (without coming in like a hellfire missile.)

4.) Maintain that elevated mental, physical and emotional state (higher level of consciousness) that allows the medicine’s magic and its lessons to continue flowing through us.

5.) Find and connect with community and like-minded individuals who can help us put language around things, and bring us back to human connection and that feeling we experienced in ceremony, of being one and part of a collective. One of the most jarring aspects of Ayahuasca ceremony is leaving it and dropping back into 3d which feels incredibly constricted/lonely/isolated once you’ve been part of a whole and connected in with everything.

6.) Locate and access more resources to help us grow (I have been very lucky to have been guided to the work of Richard Rudd’s Gene Keys you can check it out via my Amazon Affiliate Link here which means if you do decide to purchase it, I will receive a small % of the proceeds for referring you.)

As a voracious reader, I will refer to books on this blog, but also as I uncover resources and reads, add podcasts (another fav) and links.

-A Note on Esoteric Language-

As I build out this blog, I hope to link to subsequent blog posts where I explain a large variety of words that before 11/11 were completely foreign language to me. As I enter into the sphere of plant medicine and spiritual awakenings, a lot of the language is new to me. To leave an Ayahuasca experience is to enter a lot of googling.

With the Shaman I was introduced to so many new words and language, that it felt like an advanced course in a foreign language. I have to admit, this is one thing that can feel a bit frustrating about the spiritual awakening community as a newly awakened human.

I promise I’ll try to bridge the gap by writing this from the perspective of someone who went through a spiritual awakening, but also as a coach and instructor. Even before all this went down, I’ve always felt a need to teach from two places — both theoretical and practical. I simply get lost when things get too esoteric. Even the word Esoteric I had to google to understand.

Esoteric: Language that is intended for, or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest. Aka all your spiritual friends who made little sense to you before but now make complete sense to you.

For anyone in the same boat as me, feeling like a newborn soul that’s just been plonked back down onto earth, I do have to say that once you google and understand the words and terminology, it is a wonderful feeling that is deeply reassuring. I’ve felt so soothed by the fact there are words and whole communities of people and religious texts(!) that perfectly explain every aspect of spiritual awakening.

I’m just so new that I’m getting there one google at a time. So don’t be overwhelmed by the words. They will either not resonate (it simply means you are not there *yet* and they will someday very soon ) or they will so beautifully describe everything you are experiencing, that you won’t forget them once you’ve learnt them. Of course, then you’ll then chuckle to yourself as you realize you sound like all of those people that sounded so foreign before.

Here you are, your mind and soul have been ***blown open***

Another thing you’ll notice is how ridiculously casual the “awakened ones” are about spiritual awakening. Here you are, mind has just been BLOWN open and they will just sit there, casual as anything, sipping a tea, like “cool, yeah this is what you’re going through.” And you’ll be there, not casual as anything whispering “” under your breath to yourself. Repeatedly.

-It Takes a Village-

I am not only writing to share and unpack my own plant medicine integration, but also to (hopefully) engage in a community of like-minded souls in the comments. When your soul has blown apart, been put back together and then you are dropped back into your life back home, it is no joke and as a coach my heart and soul has been ruminating on:

“What must it be like for other people?! Did/are they going through this too? How can we create a community and safe container to hold each other and make this a better process?”

As our old lives and society claim us back, we find ourselves slipping away from those ascended places… and the messages we got about aligning our lives. I find myself asking “How do we stay true to our lessons and start doing the work in 3d?”

Ayahuasca packs a punch and shows you a searingly honest mirror into your life and soul. It demonstrates all of the ways in which you are both aligned, and misaligned in your day to day life.

It’s hard not to come back in like a hellfire and with cold precision immediately address each source of misalignment. But I strongly recommend you don’t! (If you’ve got this in your Gene Key profile, like me, then god speed!)

This brings me to some final thoughts on Ayahuasca and plant medicine integration:

Whilst Ayahuasca is beautiful, completely earth shattering and something I think everybody should do when they are ready (it will call to you or it will just arrive) — it is to be taken very seriously.

Have the right people, create the space and time (or a strategy) for integration and get ready for the most incredible experience.

When it comes to you, it is a clear sign that it is time to embark upon a journey of spiritual awakening.

And with that, I close off this first blog. Thank you for being here and I look forward to your comments.





Mostly exploring spiritual awakening & healing journeys. Using writing in my process of plant medicine integration. Other topics may be included.

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Mostly exploring spiritual awakening & healing journeys. Using writing in my process of plant medicine integration. Other topics may be included.

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